Apparently I Should Be Hibernating

Week 11 - 11 weeks and 6 days gestation

I've done this whole pregnancy thing before. Hell, I actually took care of pregnant women professionally for a while. I like to think I have a good handle on what to expect. But, this time around, I've been caught by surprise.

I'm exhausted. Spent. Perpetually fatigued. Always wondering when I might be able to squeeze in a nap (ha!). I'm as tired now as I was when I had newborns.

It's killing me.

Last night I went to bed at 9:30 pm and I slept until 7:00 this morning. That's nine and a half hours sleep. And I woke up so tired I thought I might cry.

What's worse? The Queen of the Latte has been unable to drink coffee for weeks now, thanks to the wonders of "morning" sickness. So, I can't even rely on caffeine to drag me out of my black hole of exhaustion. I can drink tea, though, but it just doesn't seem to have the same kick. *sigh*

I've been trying to go to bed early to help alleviate the fatigue, but there's something embarassing about going to bed right after your 2 and 4 year old do (they go to bed at 7:30 pm) so I try to stay up until at least 9:00 pm. I keep telling myself that I'm going to use that time to get some of the crap done that I've been avoiding ('cuz I'm too tired to care about it all), but by 8:00 pm I'm so bloody spent from the day that I can't bear to do laundry or clean the kitchen. My house looks like a tornado hit, and I just don't care anymore.

I usually start to feel less sick by about 14 weeks or so, and I'm seriously hoping the fatigue goes away along with the nausea. Because if it doesn't? Well, they might just condemn my house by then.

Isn't pregnancy fun?

1st Trimester Screening

WEEK 11 - 11 weeks and 2 days gestation

*sigh* I'm getting old.

Back in the days of my earlier pregnancies, I was young and carefree. The clock hadn't ticked by enough yet to really get me into a tizzy about the risk of having a baby with a genetic abnormality. Sure, I knew it was a possibility, probably better than most people since I was doing my residency in OB/Gyn at the time. I'd seen my fair share of abnormalities. But, I reasoned, statistics were on my side. I was young, my risks were relatively low.

But, now.... I'm going to be 35 when this baby is born.

No, that's certainly not old to be having a baby. Not in this day and age.

But all through my training the number "35" stuck out like a beacon, flashing its warning signal, bringing with it the perils associated with "advanced maternal age". Women over age 35 were automatically considered to be more high-risk in a wide variety of ways, but the most significant risk was that of having a child with Down Syndrome.

I had screening tests done in my earlier pregnancies, but I was never particularly worked up about them. I did them because I was practical and scientific, and it never occurred to me to do otherwise. The tests were non-invasive and posed no risk to my pregnancy, so why would I not do them? But I never once worried that they might come back abnormal. I never felt my risk was that significant.

But, now here I am. I find myself pregnant at 34, with my 35th birthday just around the corner. (What matters from a statistical standpoint is the age at delivery, not the age at conception, just in case you were wondering.) And now it's time to have my first trimester screening done. And I'm feeling a little bit antsy about it.

I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way. If I had gotten pregnant six months ago, it probably wouldn't be bothering me. It's not logical, but I can't shake it. I think it's too many years of medical training floating around in my subconscious. But, tomorrow I go for my first of two appointments at a private clinic that specializes in first trimester screening of pregnancies for genetic anomalies (among other things). I have a blood test tomorrow, and then an ultrasound and review of my results next week.

Depending on the results of this set of tests, we'll be making the decision on whether or not to have an amniocentesis at 16 weeks. That is a test I'd certainly like to avoid, given that it is an invasive test and carries a number of inherent risks, the most significant being the risk of miscarriage. But, it is a test that I am willing to have if it appears necessary.

I'm sure everything will be fine, but I will certainly be glad to get this particular milestone behind me for this pregnancy. I'll fill you in on the details after I get my ultrasound next week. Maybe if we're lucky I'll have the very first picture of this little one for all of you to see. Won't that be fun?

The Journey to Today

Welcome, friends! Ready to set out on a 6+ month journey with me? Be brave. I've done this before a couple times over, but never as a blogger. What kind of blogger would I be if I didn't chronicle the journey to baby #3 for the interwebz? Don't they take away the keys to your blog for that kind of infraction??

So, here we are. January 1, 2009. My due date is July 25, 2009, which makes me 10 weeks and 5 days gestation today.

Yes, I know. My due date is right, smack-dab in the middle of BlogHer '09. Shoot me. Do you think I'd get an all-access pass for live-blogging my c-section?

So how did we get to today? Well, as many of you already know, I was delighted to find out I was pregnant in early October, but things didn't exactly go as planned. Enter: blogging hiatus. My spirits were soothed by an amazing trip to Hawaii a few weeks later.

So, we return from Hawaii, a few weeks of chaotic family visits ensue, and suddenly I realize at the end of November, "Gee, shouldn't I have had a period by now?" So, I dutifully pee on the stick and am a tad surprised when it turns positive practically the instant the pee hits the stick. Whoa, now there's a bit of a surprise!

Anyway, I was pleased, but naturally a bit hesitant given my recent miscarriage. I hadn't even had a proper period after that. This was not exactly what we had planned. So, off to the doctor I go, and promptly to the hospital for an ultrasound. Sure enough, there was a gestational sac! But it was still very early days, and no fetus yet to be seen. So, I had to sit on it for a couple of weeks, trying not to get my hopes up. But, the second ultrasound showed the presence of a fetus (just one, thank God!) and a lovely little heart beat.

We thought it best to keep this one to ourselves for a while, but we decided that given the presence of a heartbeat at my second ultrasound, things were probably going to be ok. (The statistics show that the risk of miscarriage drops from about 50% to 10% once a heartbeat is detected.) So, we decided to tell our family and friends on Christmas Day. Now, a week later, I've decided to celebrate the New Year by starting this blog to chronicle my pregnancy. Mostly because I have never been good at keeping things like pregnancy books, baby books, that sort of thing. This is what I have to hang on to the memories of what I expect will be my last pregnancy. If all goes well, I'm planning to have my tubes tied at the time of my cesarean section.

I want to remember all the details this time around. This is probably going to be the last time I'll be pregnant, and I'm going to try to savour every moment. Yes, even the hanging over the toilet bowl moments. I want to remember the funny cravings, the things my kids say, the way my body looks, the details of the doctor appointments.... everything. Maybe it will make up a little for the things I've already forgotten about the last 2 times I did this!

Anyway... I've rambled on enough for my first post. I hope you'll join me over here every once in a while to see how things are going. I promise not to complain... too much. ;)